A Cup Of Coffee
February 3, 2010 by Steve Pogue
Filed under Caring About Colleagues, Disappointment, God's Timing, Priorities, Recent MMMs
Samuel E Matteson,
Physics,
North Texas
“I do not have a Vice Chair, nor an Assistant Chair, but I do have Sam, my Ad-vice Chair,” quipped my brother-in-Christ, Chris.
For 10 years I was chairman of the physics department and Chris was my vice chair; now he is departmental chair. This role reversal has been a learning time for me. I have come to better appreciate how God would have me relate to those in positions of authority over me; how truly to help them serve God and our common good.
What’s My Line?
I have had many different collaborative relationships in my academic career. I am a mentor to my students, of course, as was Aristotle,the tutor of Alexander the Great. But to my colleagues, my peers, a tutor-role does not seem to fit. Admittedly as I grow older, I find myself the father-figure or at least the elder, slightly eccentric uncle in Paul-Timothy relationships for some junior faculty members.
However, I think that the most appropriate model for my collegial status on the faculty and with my academic leaders is that of Barnabas and Saul. We first meet Joseph in the fourth chapter of the book of Acts where we are told that his nickname “Barnabas” means “Son of Encouragement.”
His Christian brothers and sisters called him “Barney” as they watched his career and the habits of his life. I have resolved to be a Barnabas to my colleagues and academic leaders by encouraging them in practical ways.
Barnabas Who?
In relating to my leaders, I hope to earn their trust as a harness-mate who, like an effective draft animal, pulls with rather than against the one in the lead harness. I resolve to listen readily, keep confidences and reply honestly with gentleness and tact. Often the most helpful thing I can do for Chris is to offer a cup of coffee in Jesus’ name, or provide an agenda-less escape from the pressures of the office through a quiet lunch.
I learned long ago that most decisions in academic life are not matters of right or wrong, but of wisdom and prudence. I try to refrain from being too quick to judge or critique.
I am more content now to defer to him whose responsibility it is to do a job than before I sat in “the chair.” I have been quoted as saying, “I like your way of doing the job, much better than my way of just idly thinking about it.”
I have also decided to offer unsolicited encouragement and appreciation when I catch my academic leader doing something well. Whenever the opportunity arises I “manage upwards” with positive suggestions that often I find come back as policy or proposals.
What’s Really Important?
Most importantly, I feel obliged to pray for and with Chris. Doing so I hold up his arms like Aaron and Hur did for Moses. I can recognize and stir up the gifts that are in him. In so doing, perhaps I—like Barnabas—can re-define my own name as a partner in the work of the kingdom of God in our corner of the world that is our department.
© 2010 Samuel E Matteson
Found Wanting
February 2, 2010 by Steve Pogue
Filed under God's Timing, Recent MMMs, Tenure
Carol Lim,
Pharmaceutics and Pharmaceutical Chemistry,
University of Utah
[Feb 14, 2010]—
What is God’s will for me?
At the start of 2008 I was a struggling assistant professor. I had three full-time graduate students in my laboratory, and one rotating in my lab who wanted to join. But it was down to the wire — with about $3000 left in my annual budget the game would be over when that was gone.
I was up for tenure, hopeful that a grant I had submitted to the NIH (National Institutes of Health) would be funded. But I was in the agonizing “wait and see” stage.
Wait And…
I prayed for God’s will—whatever the outcome, I told God that I would accept his decision about my fate. I thought I knew what his will was for me — my undergraduate degree in pharmacy, so many years getting my Ph.D. and finishing a post-doc really seemed what I should be doing, but maybe I was wrong.
On January 18 at 11 a.m., an email from my program officer at the NIH informed me: “Hi Carol, I don’t like bringing bad news on a Friday, but here goes. I’m not sure the NCI (National Cancer Institute) payline is going to make it to 17%, which makes it unlikely your application will get funded now.”
Needless to say, I was pretty shocked. I started to cry.
I called a few people to tell them the news, and told my lab. A million thoughts raced through my head. So this is it, God. My students, what would happen to them?
Mudit was close to graduation and would be ok; Rian, a dual Pharm.D./Ph.D. student, could rely on his Pharm.D. degree and could leave soon as well. Andy, having joined my lab the previous year, could easily switch to another lab (there were several other professors who would take him in a second). Jon was only rotating and could join another lab.
I Felt Calm
I accepted this as God’s will, and told Him that if this was it, I would find something else to do. I was surprised that instead of experiencing panic, I felt calm. I started thinking about other things I could do instead of my current job, in which I felt I had “failed.”
Others around me were saying that there had to be something I could do to maintain my job, my dream, but I told them I had run out of time and money. I made a couple more phone calls, and started getting ready to leave my lab for the day and to think about my options.
An hour and a half after receiving that email, the phone rang. It was my program officer at the NIH. He said, “You’re not going to believe this, but I forgot you were a new investigator, so the payline is better for you — you should be getting funded.” He then apologized profusely for his mistake.
I told him all was forgiven, and that I was just so happy to hear the news! Our conversation was brief, and I remember thinking that I needed to hang up quickly (before he could change his mind). Filled with disbelief and joy,I ran around and told the people in my lab.
In Retrospect
I didn’t realize this at the time, but in retrospect I know God was testing me. In Romans 12:2 we are told, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
For me the main point was wanting God’s will, not my own. Once I let go of my will, God made clear what His will was for me.
© 2010 Carol Lim