Next time, Try This
November 1, 2011 by Anne Wenger
Filed under Discipleship, Encouragement, Recent MMMs, Student interaction
Heather Holleman,
English,
Penn State University
[November 6, 2011] –
I’m sitting next to a stack of essays, coffee in one hand, pen in the other. As I read, I celebrate great writing with enthusiastic comments in the margin. Bravo! Genius! Fantastic!
I circle mistakes; usually I find semicolons used improperly, weak verbs, or sentence patterns with no variation. Whenever I have to point out a writing weakness, I immediately find myself writing, “Next time, try this,” as I scribble out a plan for their improvement.
A Second Chance
It’s always difficult for me to assign that D or that F mark. I realize how discouraging a bad grade feels. The only thing that soothes sometimes is that plan for “next time.” These strategies for development keep our focus on growth, not setbacks.
I remember a parenting book that taught me to correct a child’s behavior and say “next time” right away. “Next time, don’t jump on the furniture,” or “next time, don’t spread the peas all over the kitchen wall.”
It really works. It’s like a little saying that reminds us we are all on a journey of growing, of getting it right eventually. “Next time” invites me to rise up to a challenge, and it keeps me from the despair of failure.
I think of that with my overeating, my fits of dark emotions, my bad choices with my time, my harsh words. Next time, I’ll change something. Next time, I’ll grow a little bit more into the woman I want to be. And the beauty of the “next time” expression is that it starts immediately. I don’t have to wait till tomorrow or next year.
Forward Thinking
When I get it wrong, I think of an immediate plan for development. We’re moving forward, don’t look back. Start fresh! It’s next time right now.
This way of thinking saves me from self-criticism after teaching a class that doesn’t go according to plan. It saves me from spiraling into depression if an article gets rejected or a research direction falls apart. Failure is part of progress. I can ask myself where this mistake will take me and what new thing I’m learning from it.
I want to be as gentle with myself as I am with my children or my students. If I fail today, I remember that next time, I can try this.
After all, Jesus dealt with the disciples with great tenderness and encouragement even when correcting their failures. After His resurrection Jesus made sure He spoke to Peter, who had denied Him, and challenged him to new responsibilities of feeding His sheep. (Cf. John 21:15ff.)
There’s always another chance to grow.
(c) 2011 Heather Holleman (c) istockphoto
Be An Encourager
September 21, 2011 by Steve Pogue
Filed under Discipleship, Encouragement, Recent MMMs, Student interaction
Heather Holleman,
English,
Penn State University
[Sept 25, 2011]–
During the summer of 1994 when I was a camp counselor, a friend told me she thought I had the spiritual gift of encouragement. She posted a little note by my bed. It said, “You are an encourager.”
I remember exactly what it looked like–the handwriting, the color–and how it felt to have someone name something like that about me. My friend saw what I couldn’t see.
That single comment shaped the future of my life.
To Point Others
I wasn’t just an average girl; I was a hope giver, a courage finder, and an inspiration provider. I wasn’t just a nobody. God wanted to use me to point others towards a beautiful future. It took someone naming it to help me see it.
I had a student who told me that of all my weeks and weeks of teaching, the most memorable thing from my class was a single comment I wrote on one of his many essays.In the margin of his paper, I wrote: “You sound like a great teacher right here.” He was overwhelmed that I named that in him, and he later wrote about his dreams for graduate school to become a teacher.
As my husband and I discussed these comments, he told me he remembered the exact words of a Boy Scout leader who pointed out some unique gifts he saw in my husband. Those were turning point words.
Today as I guide students through their memoir drafts, I realize that I’m not naming what I see enough. I wonder what I need to name in my children, in my friends, and in my students. I see this in you. Maybe God will use it to shape a life. Maybe those words will be a turning point for someone today.
A Celebration of Doing Well
As a Christian professor, speaking words of encouragement goes against the grain. Pointing out a positive trait or complimenting a student seems unusual. I’ve been told that students normally encounter cynicism, discouragement, and criticism rather than optimism, encouragement, and a celebration of what they’re doing well.
When I go back to my own training as a teacher and scholar, I remember how much time we spent learning how to find out what was wrong with a scholarly article or a piece of student writing. Rarely (if at all) did we ask the question, “What did this writer do well?”
It became easy—second nature—to deconstruct, rip apart, and expose weakness. The more we could complain, the smarter we sounded.
What if I decided to take another path? What if I used my words to heal and inspire? What would it look like to cast a great vision within a student that could start from a single comment?
They Remember
I’ve seen the devastating effects of a negative turning point comment. I often ask students, for example, why they feel so afraid and insecure about their own writing. They can remember a specific moment when a teacher told them they were incompetent. They know when and where the insecurity and fear rose up in them.
I want them to know, instead, the exact moment when hope, confidence, and purpose took root inside of them. I want them to remember my class as a turning point.
(c) 2011 Heather Holleman (c) istockphoto