My Ultimate Gift To A Friend
March 14, 2011 by Steve Pogue
Filed under Caring About Colleagues, Priorities, Recent MMMs, Suffering
Sonya and Rick Hove,
National Director – Faculty Commons,
Durham, North Carolina
National Director – Faculty Commons,
Durham, North Carolina
[March 19, 2011] —
Sonya’s Diary, February 15 –
Today they will take half of my liver and transplant it into Gay Scott.
I have known Gay since we moved to Illinois in 1993 for Rick to attend Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. We looked up to Gay and her husband Roger as a godly couple and wonderful parents. Gay contracted hepatitis C years ago as a nurse before precautions like gloves were the norm. Hep C attacks the liver. As the illness progressed, Gay’s liver function declined.
Last fall her daughter emailed some people and said that Gay needed a living liver donor. I responded, passed the first round of questions, and in December, flew up to be evaluated at Northwestern. Right before Christmas they called and told me I was a great candidate to be her donor.
Three things kept running through my mind:
• God created our livers to regenerate to the exact right size for our body. When babies receive part of an adult liver it actually grows along with the child until it reaches the appropriate adult size!
• This is an opportunity to literally save a life. I have the opportunity to be the means by which he prolongs Gay’s life so that she can live for His glory.
• The last thing I kept turning over and over in my head is that if I, or someone I loved, were in need of a liver I would hope that someone would do this for us.
Rick and I talked and prayed and talked and prayed. We talked to the kids. And we decided to move forward.
Rick’s Diary, February 27
I thought I signed up for a trip to Chicago for Sonya’s surgery.
I thought my part of the deal was to help her through the process (and as an extra bonus, and because of my remarkable husband abilities, I’d keep our children alive, and our home from internal collapse while she was away).
I thought the emotional fallout of this experience would be limited to my deep worry over Sonya’s well being, followed by the grief I might receive after not responding to email for (ugh) two weeks.
Well, I was wrong. The surgery was successful – but there was more.
Something happened in this journey where I now care in a much more profound way. “Caring” kicked “doing” to the back seat. It’s far easier to be the trustworthy-faithful-friendly-kind of boy scout. You know — send money, offer advice, and help out — all the things you’re supposed to do. But it’s wholly different to let your heart care.
Which is exactly why this event is so riveting. She cared.
And somewhere along the line this thought has occurred to me: if there is a God I’d want Him to be more than a God who just does the right things, but a God who cares. Wouldn’t you?
In fact, I think there is such a God, and our capacity to care for others might just be one little confirmation of the kind of God He is.
N.B. — Sonya notes that there are currently 100,000 people in the U.S. awaiting organ donation.
(c) 2011 Sonya Hove and Rick Hove
In His Hands
April 14, 2010 by Steve Pogue
Filed under Caring About Colleagues, Recent MMMs, Sharing Your Faith, Suffering
Sauchi Stephen Lee,
Statistics,
University of Idaho
Statistics,
University of Idaho
[April 18, 2010]—
I can still recall the day when I asked my chairman, “Do you think of spiritual things at times?”
It was more than a decade ago that I met Al Manson. He was applying to become the first formal chair of our Division of Statistics. He came across as a motivated man talking about future goals and action plans. He had a deep voice that evoked determination, an inviting smile, and sharp eyes reflecting his insights.
A Capable Colleague
We soon came to know him professionally as a capable colleague. Our conversations were basically on the collegial level, rarely personal. He said what he meant, he meant what he said, and nothing much beyond what was necessary. Yet he was very supportive when I went through the tedious tenure and promotion process in 1998.
Then Al was diagnosed with cancer. His life, I realized, might not include all the goals and plans he had so thoughtfully begun in our department. So one day over lunch I asked him that question “Do you think much about spiritual things?”
He replied: “I think of spiritual things everyday.” I was surprised because we seldom had any interaction or communication on this level. He was becoming more aware of his Christian faith and the importance of his personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
I Love My Job
He began to be more open about his life. At a faculty meeting he said, “I have no fear of dying. I know that I am right with God. I am looking forward to work everyday until I am no longer able to work. I love my job.”
It took a lot of courage for him to share his belief and his personal relationship with God in front of the entire faculty at a departmental meeting. He delivered what was in his heart calmly and naturally. Spiritual reality had become so real and true for a man suddenly looking from earth into eternity.
Al set up a good example of successful leadership: he led with his whole being and stayed committed to doing excellent work. He kept teaching two classes despite being weak. Over lunch in one of his final months he was more interested in talking about ways to minimize the impact of the university budget cuts on our division than to talk about his health condition.
He Had The Strength
The day prior to his death, my wife and I had the privilege of visiting him. He looked pale and tired, but was conscious and sharp, showing no expressions of pain. For the duration of our visit he had the strength to hold our hands tightly.
We told him that we were proud of him and that he was fighting a good fight.From his hospital bed he asked us to pray with him. As we prayed together, he firmly and repeatedly said three words I would never forget: “In His Hands.”
© 2010 Sauchi Stephen Lee